Not-So-Breaking News

I recently clicked a button, and in doing so, gave CNN permission to send notifications to my personal device at any and all hours of the day. I don’t know why I did that. I now find myself asking one question: How breaking can the news truly be if it’s coming at me roughly 6 times per day? Statistically, this simply doesn’t add up, and I will not accept it. If this supposedly “breaking” news -- world leaders doing crazy psychopathic shit, innocent young people getting killed in wars fought over resources, mass shootings -- if this breaking news breaks 6 times in a given day on average, how fucking breaking can it really be? Sorry CNN, but I take a shit less often than you send me a notification about “breaking news”.